Sacrifice
by Akina Kimura
Summary: Lux awakens in a room she's never seen before, where she finds a young man whom she's never met. After the incident, she has forgotten everything that's happened the past three years, and now it's up to her to seek out clues and bits of her past in order to put her life back together.
1. Unfamiliarity

Hello there :3 before you start reading i'd like to point out I edited this at about 3:00am and I was super tired so if you notice a mistake could you please message me so I can fix it? x3 thankies.

Anyway, I hope you like c: and just to let you know, the League does not exist in this story~

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**Chapter One - Unfamiliarity**

Lux

My heart was pounding so rapidly within my chest, I nearly thought it would burst; the deafening sound reverberating through my ears like the cadence of an enormous drum. My head throbbed, overwhelmed by excruciating pain. My body felt like it was on fire and I didn't know why, for the last I could remember, I had been so very, very cold. The heat was centered inside my left shoulder. Intense waves of pain flooded through my arm to the tips of my fingers, and though I tried with every ounce of strength I could attain to turn and see for myself what has shaken me so, I found that I was unable to open my eyes.

I could vaguely make out the stricken, panicked cries of a young male whom I could not identify. Though I do not know the voice, I hear it calling my name – at least, I think it is my name – and for reasons unknown to me, simply the sound of their strangled cry overcomes me with feelings of immense sorrow, but also of great relief. It is almost as if every part of me knows who this person is – longs for them, even – yet my mind is failing me. I am almost afraid at the flurry of emotions that swell up inside of me at no more than the sound of his voice, and I wish to uncover the face behind that voice in hopes that it will bring to light why I am so overcome with such thoughts. Perhaps I could distinguish this unfamiliar voice more easily were it not for the incessant pounding in my skull.

I tried desperately to move, but my efforts were in vain; my body was gradually succumbing to a prickling numbness. My own strained breathing – slowed by fatigue – was echoing in my ears. Pain still gripped me like a massive fist, squeezing the breath out of me and refusing to free me from its harrowing stranglehold. Is this what it feels like to die?

Am I already dead?

I felt my limbs growing weaker and weaker, my heart still hammering against my ribcage. I waited for the voice, yearning to hear it again. Although I can't recall the face connected to that voice, it provides me with comfort for reasons beyond me. Soon, I hear it once more; it feels as if his voice has reached my very soul and it fills me with the unique kind of warmth only the one you hold most dear can provide you. Moments later, I feel pressure on my cheek. It is gentle but unstable, tender but fearful – a hand maybe?

_His_ hand.

I will him never to lift it. Although every nerve in my body is on fire and I cannot _feel_ the touch, I know it is there, and it offers me consolation amidst all this agony. With it, though, confusion arises. I don't know why I feel like this – like every part of me knows him except my mind. What if he isn't even real? What if these are my last moments, and my head is tricking me?

Either way, I let myself relax; my heartbeat slows, my breathing shallows, the pain eases and my muscles loosen until I feel like I am flying, and I am overwhelmed by an extreme calm. I welcome sleep, and soon, my consciousness leaves me. All the while, a single word – a name, rather – comes to me. Though it should mean nothing to me, as I do not know it, it fills me with comfort… desire… warmth.

Even love.

Just a name and nothing more.

I cling desperately onto that one word, repeating it over and over within myself until reality slips away from me…

_Ezreal._

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

I regained consciousness what seemed like seconds later. However, I could not yet move my body. Gradually, the feeling began to work its way back into my limbs, and soon I could move my fingers, then my arms, then my legs. Slowly, maybe even fearfully, I open my eyes.

It takes a moment for everything to come into focus. When I can see clearly again, panic tears through me like the edge of a blade and I bolt upright as I realize that I have no idea where I am; I've never seen this place before. My head begins pounding and my heart slams against my ribcage over and over. It's not like the place's appearance is unsettling in the slightest. In fact, it's quite nice.

I was sitting in what could very well have been the softest bed I've ever seen, wrapped up in numerous knit blankets of the softest wool and nearly sinking into all of the down pillows at my back. There was a small wooden table beside me, and on top of it sat an intricately carved lamp with a patterned off-white shade. At the base of the lamp there was a pair of goggles – large ones with gold rims – that looked very well-worn. Against the far wall, there stood an antique wooden desk that was scattered with papers and journals; even more notebooks were stuffed in the cubby underneath it, and several papers were strewn haphazardly around the bottom of the desk. There were maps of everything you could imagine pasted all over the wall on that side of the room, each of them covered in sloppy red circles and exes. Other than the mess along that wall, everything else in the room was immaculate. There were a couple ornate rugs on the floor, slightly worn by age and constant use, but they were still beautiful. Many different kinds of plants – from the most gorgeous orchids to the simplest cacti – grew in various pots around the room. Most were placed near the windows. Along every wall, shelves held countless artifacts. There were old, cracked statues of both people and animals, some very abstract and others more lifelike. Old-fashioned jewelry of gold and silver – scratched and mottled with age – lied among these statues. There were also many archaic weapons – stone blades and spears and arrow heads – that have probably come from all corners of the globe. Throughout the room, there were many framed pictures on walls and on tables, but I could not make out the photographs from here. All of this was crammed inside what appeared to be a sizeable cottage.

But there was nothing to assure me that my own death didn't wait for me around the corner.

In an attempt to distract myself from the uncertain fear coursing through my veins, I occupied my thoughts by trying to remember what had happened to me. The last I could remember, it had been incredibly loud and I had been in unbearable pain. At some point, everything just went black. But… what happened before that?

I racked my brain trying to recall even the smallest detail that could help me discover what transpired earlier. Before the pain, I only remembered coming to Piltover in hopes of a short vacation of sorts. I've always found the scenery so picturesque and I wanted to stay for a while, as the beauty of genuine nature is so hard to find in a large, affluent city such as Demacia. Is that where it went wrong? Was I jumped on my way into the city?

As I keep thinking about this, I finally look down to my aching shoulder and notice the bandage, smudged lightly with what I assume to be my own blood. Tears begin to form in my eyes as I realize the severity of the situation I have been thrown into. I came here for some peace, but something horrible happened to me and I can't remember what. Even worse, I was injured, and too dizzy to make my escape. A fresh spear of panic pierced me when I realized that I may have been hit so hard that my memory was altered and some bits went missing altogether. I've seen it happen before, but that couldn't be the case now. How could I possibly forget something like that?

My heart nearly leaps into my throat when I hear footsteps from the other room. I begin shaking purely out of fear, listening to them draw nearer and nearer until they are almost at the door. My breath quickens and tears pour down my face as I realize this might be it for me.

How I wish I were at home, huddled in my own bed, _safe_. Not here in an unfamiliar room, injured and afraid. Thinking on a whim, I wipe my damp face and lay back down like I had been, shutting my eyes and trying my best to appear unconscious, worried my elevated breathing will give me away.

I listen in horror as the knob turns and the door creaks open, light footsteps making their way over to me. My heartbeat quickens, and I pray that it cannot be heard. Suddenly, the footsteps come to a halt right beside me, and though my mind is racing, I try to think calming thoughts so I won't reveal that I'm awake. It is almost impossible to stop the tears from forming. I can't give myself away.

I hear him draw in a deep breath, and release a dejected sigh. He sounds miserable.

But I wasn't about to trust him.

Soon, he spoke. "Lux…"

At his voice, I almost jump. _He knows my name._ And I know this voice, but at the same time, I don't. I've heard it before, but who does it belong to?

A million different emotions swell up inside me again. I am suddenly filled with warmth and desire, and it frightens me beyond reason. Why does his voice affect me like this?

Suddenly I remember where I heard it. I heard it before I lost consciousness. So that means he was there when I was injured, and that I have a right to believe it was him that did this to me. Before I can think on it much longer, he speaks again.

"Lux, if you can hear me… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" His voice is cracking and it sounds as if he is about to cry. Suddenly, I feel pressure on the bed and hear a thud on the floor beside me, as if he's fallen to his knees. "If I had just reacted as quickly as you had, none of this would have happened…"

As he says this, he reaches out and caresses my cheek with his fingers as if I were a fragile piece of glass. His touch startles me, and I long to shrink away from it, but if I move then he will know I am pretending. Still, I can't help but be amazed at how gentle he is.

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

_We sat together in the shade of a tree, the sunlight shining through the leaves and speckling the grassy earth below. The sound of birdsong chimed all around us, lending to an even more peaceful atmosphere. My hair – grown out and covering my right eye – blew lightly in the wind, masking my face. Warmth seeped in through my skin to my very core, and I couldn't tell if it was caused by the sun, or the adoring gaze of the boy in front of me. Perhaps both._

_Slowly, he reaches out and brushes my cheek with his fingers, moving a few loose strands of hair out of my eye and tucking them behind my ear. Then he smiles. "You know, you have the most beautiful eyes. Why don't you let anyone see them?"_

_I blushed, averting my gaze to the ground, then back up to him. "You're the only one that thinks so…"_

"_Hey now," he says, leaning towards me ever-so-slightly._

_I pretend to pout, and he chuckles softly, taking my hands in his and looking directly into my eyes. "You're gorgeous. You don't need to hide."_

_My cheeks turn an even brighter shade of red and I smile, my gaze falling to his hands that still hold mine so gently. "Ezreal…"_

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

"Ezreal." I hear a voice say the name, and at first, I don't know if the voice is my own or someone else's.

My heart is racing. What was that? A memory? Did I fall asleep? Was that a dream?

That name sounds so familiar, and then I remember once again that it came to me before, when I was injured. Was that the source of this unknown voice?

"Lux, you're awake!"

My eyes fly open and when I fully come to my senses, I realize that I had spoken the name out loud. Dread pulses through me. This is it. It's over.

Quickly, so as to not remain so vulnerable, I sit up and turn to face him, ready to defend myself. "Get away from me," I say, my voice shaken by fear.

His eyes widen slightly and instantly fill with worry, but he remains silent for a moment, as if taken completely off-guard by my order. It is then that I realize this is the boy whom I had just seen in the vision I had.

He is a mess. His blond hair is completely disheveled and tear stains line his pale face. He looks like he'd been to Hell and back and hit every bump on the road along the way. I almost want to feel sorry for him, but if he is the reason I was hurt like this – if _he_ is the reason I've had to endure this – then I feel no pity.

He clenches his jaw, his eyes shimmering with fresh tears. "Lux, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. It was my fault. I'm trying my best to help you now…"

So he had been the one bring me here and patch me up? If he had been the one to hurt me, why would he help me? This can only mean that, unless he is messing with me, it wasn't him who injured me. He is the one who saved me.

I feel a sense of gratitude towards him suddenly, and I almost thank him, but I bite my tongue and think better of it. What if he is lying to me? He _did_ just bring me into his home while I was unconscious. I think that's a little unnerving in itself. I could never truly know his intentions, and I won't be fooled. Ignoring the last part of what he said, I looked at him questioningly. "What was your fault?" I asked him.

His brow creased together in confusion. "You… you don't remember?"

"Apparently not. The last I remember, I had just arrived here from Demacia for a short trip. I don't even know you," I told him, my eyes never leaving his just in case he made some sort of move towards me. "Just let me go. I want to go home."

The look that rose to his face was one of pure bewilderment.

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Comments? Constructive criticism? Please review :3 i'm trying to get back into writing after a couple years so i'm a bit rusty xC

Thank you for reading~ *gives cookie*


	2. A New Life Forgotten

So someone mentioned that the text was a bit confusing, with the flashbacks and all, so I just wanted to clarify that every flashback/memory/vision will be completely in _italics_ and seperated from other passages :3 also, the text from Lux's point of view is meant to be a little confusing, because she's confused c: and when a character's name is underlined, that means all the text below it is from their point of view~

Also, I checked for mistakes at 5:00am and i'm exhausted so please please please point out any mistakes you find? :D

Well I hope you enjoy :3

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**Chapter Two - A New Life Forgotten**

Ezreal

Many like to think themselves and their loved ones immune to misfortune such as this until it becomes reality. I never thought anything could happen to her, and now I don't know what to do.

I tried the best I could to calm my tears and my quivering body, but there's just no way to cope with the knowledge that the woman you've devoted the past three years of your life to doesn't even remember who you are. For the longest time, I could do nothing but sit in stunned silence, frantically searching her face for any sign that she was joking. But I knew her, and this was no joke. The look in her eyes held nothing but the truth. And the one thing I can't do is tell her everything at once, for it could overwhelm her and create even more problems. But I know her; she is smart, and when she remembers – _if_ she remembers – then she will know what to do. Until then, all I can do is wait.

The hopelessness hit me like a rockslide, pulling me under and burying me beneath the shards of my own shattered world. There is no telling how long it will take one to recover years worth of lost memories, or if they ever will at all. I hardly even dare to hope.

The day she remembers… is merely days before we met.

I remember it so clearly. I was out for a walk one day, the sun was shining brightly and the air was crisp and clear. I saw a young girl who looked to be about my age sauntering along the other side of the road in the opposite direction, looking lost and confused. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and the way the sunlight glistened off her golden hair made her appear even more radiant. Without a second thought, I went over to talk to her, knowing I would regret it if I didn't. We introduced ourselves, and I helped her find the shop she had been looking for; after the long walk, we'd gotten to know each other a bit. I'd found out she was the gifted daughter of the highly respected Crownguard family residing in Demacia, and was here on a short break from her lavish lifestyle. Unlike her, I was born and raised here, and set off to explore the world upon leaving the womb. After what seemed like only a few short minutes, we had reluctantly said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

After that day, I was determined to see her again. I had been afraid she wouldn't be staying much longer, so I set out every day in hopes of catching her. And every day, I did, almost as if she had been thinking the same thing. However, both of us feigned surprise each time. I grew more and more fond of her with each passing day, and when it came time for her to leave almost two weeks later, I felt a piece of my heart leaving with her. It wasn't much of a heartfelt goodbye – after all, we'd only known each other a couple weeks. We shared a quick hug and a few words, she told me she hoped to see me again, and that was it.

After she left, I tried to find ways to take my mind off the fact that she was gone. I had thought adventures, research and writing would have kept my thoughts occupied, as they always had prior to meeting Lux. But the feelings she gave me were far different from the ones I received from my favorite pastimes. The things she made me feel were cordial and gratifying, and while I loved a good adventure, they could not fill the void that she created when she left. Adventures could only satisfy my curiosity and alleviate my boredom. It wasn't like I no longer enjoyed myself, but something within me had altered; I now longed for a girl's affection and the thrills of exploring were not enough for me anymore. It was foreign to me. Only fifteen at the time, being with a girl had still seemed several years into the future. Until I saw her, I hadn't thought about it at all. I decided to hold onto these feelings, in hopes that she would remember me and return one day.

Almost two months later, she did. I was surprised and overjoyed when I saw the recognition on her face as she came running over to me. She told me she would be staying longer this time. I remember almost offering to let her stay at my house to avoid any extra expenses on her part, but I got too nervous, thinking she would assume I had ulterior motives. I settled with visiting her every chance I could. After a few more weeks, everyone in town thought we were together; the only thing stopping them from being certain was our word, which we gave only days later. From that day on, we were a couple. When she left again, we always stayed in touch. The emptiness I had felt the first time she left was no longer there, for I knew without a doubt in my mind that she was coming back, and there wasn't a day that I didn't hear from her. She was mine, and I was hers. Knowing that made every day easier.

After being together for almost two years, she moved in with me. She still leaves for several days at a time to visit her family, but otherwise, she's here.

And having her here with me makes me happier than I can ever remember being.

But now the three most significant, cherished years of my life have been washed from her memory, and there's no guarantee that they will ever be recovered.

I may have just lost her forever.

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

Lux

Too lightheaded and fatigued to make the journey home, I opted to stay in this cottage for a short time, planning on leaving as soon as I could move around on my own with little effort.

But only under the circumstance that Ezreal stays far enough away from me unless it's by my own request that he assist me. Even though I've only known him a few short hours, he seems like a nice guy, but I'm not about to trust someone who all but kidnapped me. I know he meant no harm, but I can't help but think of every ill intention under the sun that he could possibly have for me. I won't let his kindness impede on my judgment.

On top of that, he seems to know more about what happened to me than I do, but he refuses to tell me. I can't just leave while I still have so many questions and uncertainties if he's the only person that can give me answers. And if I went all the way back home, I would probably never understand. My parents wouldn't know the details of what happened to me – at least not quite yet – and Demacia is a long way to travel on the faint hope that someone could tell me what my mind is hiding from me, while someone here knows everything.

Even though I'm a mess, I'm in the home of a boy I don't know, and the past day or so of my life is hidden in the shadows, I don't feel like I'm in any immediate danger. And if I was, my parents would find out I was missing and send help soon enough. In fact, if something serious _did_ happen, I know I'll be hearing from them any day now. Maybe they will tell me what this Ezreal character won't.

As I let my mind wander, it returned to the vision I'd had earlier, of Ezreal and myself. What I found the most alarming was that I'd seen him in my head before I'd ever seen him in person. Maybe even more unnerving than that… is that it seemed like we were very close. The look he gave me and he way he touched me, it made me want to shudder – from pleasure or apprehension, I didn't know. All I know is that in that shred of a potential memory, I had felt so whole and content and completely enamored by him that nothing else in the world had mattered to me. That thought scared me. For if it were an actual memory, then he meant something to me, and I to him. If that was the case, I wanted desperately to know how we were involved.

If it is a memory… then I couldn't have gotten here merely today, because I hadn't met him before I came to Piltover. That much, I was sure of. I arrived here for a trip today and blacked out. I had no time to meet anyone. If I _had_ seen him, it would have been in between my arrival and when I lost consciousness.

Just as quickly as my mind began making these connections, they fell apart. If that were the case, I'd forgotten more than just one day of my life. I'd forgotten weeks, months, or even years. That just didn't seem possible to me.

Maybe I just caught a quick glance of him passing by before I blacked out, and now my mind is giving me false information. That had to be it. It was probably just a dream.

But that still doesn't explain why I knew his name before he told it to me.

I shook my head to clear it and glanced around the room. If he really does know me, then maybe I could find something in here that will shine some light on what's happened. I hated snooping around, but if he won't tell me what's going on, then I'll have to figure it out myself.

I twisted my body to the side, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and dangling them above the wooden floorboards. Inching forward until my toes touched the floor, I dropped all my weight onto my feet, nearly collapsing as a bolt of pain flared up my right leg. The only thing that kept me upright was my arm instinctively reaching out and steadying myself against the table beside the bed. I leaned back against the bedframe, reaching out and stabilizing the lamp that had begun to sway when I'd slammed my hand into the wood. The timeworn goggles that had lain there had fallen uselessly to the floor.

I stood there for a moment, trying to regain my balance. I must have twisted my ankle somehow.

Once I could stand, with my right foot slightly elevated, I sighed and pushed myself away from the bed, limping towards Ezreal's stash of notebooks and journals. I sat on the chair in front of his desk and – silently cursing myself for snooping through someone's personal things – picked one of the journals up and opened it. I began flipping through the pages, trying to find my name somewhere. There were countless entries about him exploring or discovering something amazing, but nothing that related to me.

Closing the first journal, I looked for another one like it, and found that there was a shelf full of them. They were records of important events, organized by date. I slipped the first one back into its place and pulled out another one, dated four years back. I had just about as much luck with that one as I did with the other. I set it back on the shelf and began searching for one with a more recent date. When I found one from the beginning of this year until now – one that he was probably still writing in – I picked it up.

I found nothing. He mentioned a "she" and a "her" a lot, but I couldn't find anything that was about me. I pulled out the next one back, but it was the same thing.

When I reached the third journal back, however, I found one entry that stuck out to me. It was short, but it sent my heart racing.

_I met a girl today. She's visiting from Demacia for a while. She won't be staying long, but I hope that I can see her again. Her name is Luxanna._

As I noticed the small text scribbled in at the top of the page above this entry, my blood turned to ice and my fingers froze grasping the thin book. For a while, all I could do was stare in complete panic; I couldn't even work up the courage to turn to the next page. My body was shaking and I was fighting back tears, straining to swallow past the lump in my throat.

The entry was dated for June 18th, almost three and a half years ago.

Struggling to calm myself down, I closed the journal and tried unsteadily to put it back in place, but a small photograph fell out from between the pages and landed face-down on the floor.

On the back, it read September 4th, and it was from the same year as the journal entry.

My heartbeat echoing through my ears, I reached down and picked it up with quivering fingers, pausing only a moment before turning it over.

My breath caught in my throat and I started to feel dizzy.

It was unmistakably me and Ezreal. He had his arm around my shoulders and was smiling broadly. I was laughing, looking up at him with affection evident in my gaze. I don't know if I've ever seen anyone appear as happy as we do in this photo.

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

"_Ezreal, no photos! I don't like how I look today!"_

I heard my own voice echoing in my mind.

"_Come on, pleeease? You look beautiful as always!"_

And then his.

"_But I—"_

The occasional flash of sunlight disrupted my vision.

"_Smile!"_

A camera shutter.

"_Ez…"_

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

My mind snapped back out of the vision, and I squeezed my eyes shut, fear gripping me as my head started spinning. _What is going on?_

Tears filling my eyes and vertigo taking over my body, I collapsed to the ground, my knees digging into the hard floor. But I was growing numb, and I could hardly feel the pain. My eyes never left that photograph as the truth of my reality began to set in.

As if on cue, I heard rapid footsteps approaching the door. Thinking quickly, I tossed the picture beneath the desk and forced myself to move as close to the bed as I could manage, but before I could move very far, the door flew open and Ezreal stepped in.

Our eyes locked, and my tears refused to cease.

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Thank you for reading~ *gives cupcake*

Reviews or constructive criticism please? :3 it helps a lot c:

Also, I was thinking about turning this story into a manga/comic. I would post it on deviantart. I just wanted to know if anyone would be interested in reading it :3 it's just an idea right now, but maybe let me know? c:


	3. Conflicted

Sorry it's been so long since the last update. This one is a bit longer though :3 and as always, please tell me if there are any mistakes? It's 6:00am and i'm so tired ;w;

* * *

**Chapter Three: Conflicted**

Lux

I kept my gaze fixed on his, willing my tears to end and my lip to stop quivering, but it was no use even trying. I was too overwhelmed by the things I'd seen; I didn't know what to think, or if I even believed any of it. It had to all be some elaborate trick. I've been pursued by guys before, but none have ever gone this far. To make me believe I'd lost my memory, and that I'd had feelings for him, even writing fake journal entries… it's all too much.

But the picture… how would he have gotten a picture like that without my knowledge?

My heart slammed against my ribcage. It all made sense… but the photo is what threw me off. If it weren't for that photo, everything would be clearer. I couldn't have actually forgotten the past three years of my life, could I?

No. There's no way…

As I stared up at the blond boy in the doorway, a wave of questions flooded my mind, and I bit my lip in an attempt to keep them from spilling into the air. What happened? What is he to me? What am I to him? Just how much have I forgotten, if I've forgotten anything at all? Why won't he tell me anything but his _name_?

The silence between us seemed to drag on for hours, when it reality, it had merely been a handful of seconds. Worry etched across his face, he began taking another step towards me, but stopped and drew his foot back when he noticed my entire body become rigid. "Lux…"

A wave of heat surged through me as soon as he spoke my name. Then I shivered.

I wanted to tell him what I'd seen and demand an explanation, but something was stopping me; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't form any words. If everything I'd seen were real, then Ezreal held every answer to the questions I so desperately needed to understand. He knows… and yet he won't tell me a thing. When I thought of this, feelings of frustration piled on top of my anxiety until my mind was spinning so violently that it took everything in me not to break down and scream. Why is this happening to me?

"I…" I managed to squeak, but my voice cracked. I opened my mouth again, but closed it when I found myself unable to form a coherent thought. So many things to say, yet I am rendered incapable by my inability to put my feelings into words.

"You _what_?" he asked me gently – almost hopefully – as his eyebrows pulled together in concern. Staying right where he was in the doorway, he crouched down to the floor, his eyes moving rapidly, searching every inch of my face as if he was looking for something.

As I continued to gaze at him across the room, I realized my tears had stopped. I didn't know why or when it had happened, but my face was dry and my heartbeat had slowed. _Why have I stopped panicking? My situation hasn't changed…_

Is it because of _him_?

In response to his question, I said the first thing that came to my jumbled mind.

"I… I fell out of the bed."

_Stupid, Lux. Stupid._

He squinted in confusion, a small smile crossing his face as a flicker of amusement glittered in his eyes. "Then you fell awfully far," he pointed out, motioning to the bed and then to me, who was huddled on the floor a foot or two from the end of it.

I glanced downward, embarrassed, then met his eyes again, my expression remaining impassive. Just as quickly as the joy had entered his face, it dissolved into melancholy once more, as if he'd come back to reality. His eyes fell.

After a moment's pause, he spoke again without looking at me. "Are you okay?"

No, I am most definitely _not_ okay. I don't know you and you kidnapped me, I'm honestly unsure as to whether you want to contain me or help me, I can hardly move due to my injuries that you _may _have caused, and I just found evidence suggesting that I've forgotten more than three years of my life. My world was thrown into chaos overnight and if I really have lost my memory then I might not even know who I am anymore. Also, I have so many things I want to ask you right now but I'm too afraid of the answer to say them out loud. On top of all _that_, you won't tell me a damn thing. I'm scared and confused and upset and I just want to go home.

"I'm… I'm fine," I told him. It was an obvious lie and it was apparent even _he_ knew I wasn't speaking the truth. But I really just wanted him to leave so I could be alone for a while and try to make sense of the things I'd discovered only a few minutes ago.

As if he'd read my mind, he offered me one last sorrowful glance before he pushed himself up off the floor and prepared to leave. Staring downwards, he released a sigh, then turned his back on me and began walking out. "Please just tell me if you need anything at all," he said dejectedly, then grabbed the doorknob and began to pull it closed behind him.

Without thinking, I called out to him. "Wait," I said, just before he had time to shut the door completely. He pushed it back open and turned to look at me hopefully.

"What is it?" he asked.

I froze. I hadn't meant to call him back; it had just slipped out as if it were a natural reflex. Why was calling out to him the first thing my mind jumped to? Company is the last thing I need right now; all I want is to be alone with my own thoughts.

After I was silent for too long, he spoke up again. "Do you need something? Food? Water?"

I knew he was trying to be kind, but I unconsciously tuned him out, trying to understand why I had called him back instead of just letting him go. It didn't take me long to realize that it was because I didn't _want _him to leave. Right now, I'm scared, and as far as I know, he's the only one who knows what happened to me. As much as I hated to admit to myself, I needed him.

_Wait, what am I saying?_ I thought to myself, my heart thudding in my chest. _He's a complete stranger…_

I felt myself growing flustered under his gaze, and I bit my lip, unable to stand that he was making me feel so confused. My mind wanted to push him away but my heart wanted to pull him close. Forcing those thoughts to the side, I met his eyes.

"I want you to tell me what happened to me," I said, not allowing myself even a moment to think it through.

His emerald eyes widened ever-so-slightly, and after a short pause, he turned to face me again, his gaze falling to the floor, then back up to me. I blinked up at him, then reached out and gripped the bed's frame, pulling myself to a standing position and supporting my weight on the mattress. I fought to calm my rapidly beating heart and watched him steadily. Then I turned towards his desk and, mustering every ounce of strength I could manage, began walking forward, trying to suppress my limp. When I reached it, I knelt down, keeping one hand against the desk in case I were to lose my balance, and retrieved the photograph. Sooner or later, he would know I'd seen it, so it was no use trying to hide. Maybe it would force him into revealing more to me.

With shaking fingers, I picked the photo up, taking one glance at it before turning back towards Ezreal. My heart lurched as I held it out towards him. "Explain," I told him, my voice quivering.

His eyes moved between the photograph and myself. He couldn't see the image from where he was, but by the way he was looking at me, I could tell that he knew exactly what I was holding. "Please," I added, turning my head slightly to the left and refusing to make eye contact with him. I still held the photo.

He took one careful step towards me, then two. When I made no move away from him, he closed the distance between us and came to a stop a few short feet away from me. The closer he was, the more I felt drawn to him. Every step he took towards me, my heartbeat escalated until I felt that my chest may burst. And I was shocked when I realized it wasn't fear that I was feeling. I tried to shove these thoughts aside and focus on the problem at hand, but they wouldn't fade. All I could do was ignore them.

Ezreal's eyes fell to the photograph, and he reached out and took it from my hand delicately. I felt a lump forming in my throat and tried to swallow it, but I knew the tears were coming and my efforts to hide them were in vain.

After he thought for a moment, admiring the photograph almost nostalgically, he looked up at me sadly. "You and I do know each other, Lux…"

"How?" I questioned, never facing him directly. I couldn't handle that.

"You… you were visiting from Demacia… and I helped you find a shop when you were lost," he told me, sounding as if the words pained him.

"And when was this?" I pressed, wanting to see if his words matched the writing in the journal.

He fell silent, and I knew he didn't want to answer me. Or couldn't.

Even under the circumstances, I felt my heart aching for _him_, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't understand why.

"Ezreal," I said, trying to draw his attention again if I had lost it. And for some reason, the name suddenly sounded uncannily familiar, as if it had crossed my lips a million times before.

He sighed shortly, giving in. "June," he told me. "Three years ago."

I closed my eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from pushing through. "So it's true? I've forgotten that much?"

"Lux, I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I should have—"

I turned towards him suddenly, my mind racing. "_What_ was your fault? You keep saying that, but what are you talking about?" I asked him, sounding much harsher than I'd meant to. I started to feel guilty; I had no idea what he might have been through, so it wasn't my place to be rude. Even so, I forced the apology back down my throat before it could make itself heard.

He looked at me helplessly, his mouth opening as if he were about to say something, then closing again when the words wouldn't surface. He swallowed hard. "Lux, I can't tell you…"

"Why _not_?" I asked, growing frustrated. Was it so terrible that he doesn't even want me to remember?

He turned towards the floor, and I knew no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make him tell me. I was angry, but I could still realize when someone else was in distress; I couldn't get myself to hassle him any further. Instead, I chose to do the one thing that would keep us far apart. Then there was no way I could upset him further.

I took in a deep breath, then sighed. "I'm going home. I will leave first thing tomorrow morning," I told him decisively.

He turned to me abruptly, something akin to heartbreak manifesting in his shimmering gaze. He suddenly appeared as vulnerable as a lost child, and it took every ounce of strength I had to stop myself from reaching out to him. I didn't want to leave here, but I had no choice, and I had already made up my mind. Home was the best place for me to be right now.

"Are… are you sure?" he asked me, his gaze pleading.

The look on his face made my heart ache; all I could do was nod once. "It's best…"

He paused to look at me for just a moment before taking a step back, then another. His bottom lip quivered faintly and a single tear fell down his cheek. I longed to know what was making him feel this way, but he wouldn't tell me anything. Even _I_ knew that I couldn't leave him, but I hadn't the slightest idea why I felt that way. My body and mind were at war with each other.

"Okay…" Ezreal's voice broke my thoughts. "I… wish you well." His tone was unsteady. He gave me one more brokenhearted glance before turning to face the door, seeming as if he were in a hurry to get out.

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

_I stood outside of a beautiful wooden cottage that was almost lost among all the towering trees, carrying a small suitcase. The sky was clear and the sun was warm against my skin. Birds fluttered from branch to branch, making their songs heard. Butterflies rose and fell with the subtle breeze. It was the most gorgeous scene I could ever have imagined, but I felt sad._

_After being here for several weeks, it was time for me to leave. It pained me to go, but at the same time, I was happy because I knew that I would return soon enough. And now I had something wonderful to come back to. At the thought of him, I smiled._

_Just then, he came out through the front door of the cottage, his blond hair swaying lightly in the wind. He was still pulling his jacket on as he jogged over to me. I suppressed a chuckle. If I knew him any better, he'd probably just woken up. He'd told me yesterday to come by so he could see me off, but now we were a little pressed for time. My ride was leaving in no more than ten minutes and it was picking me up a few minutes' walk from here._

"_There you are! I was wondering when you'd finally show your face," I teased him._

"_I'm sorry! I slept in. Am I too—"_

"_Aw, you still got all prettied up for me?" I poked fun at him, noticing that even though he was only saying goodbye for a short time, he had still gotten dressed up. His hair was combed neatly as well. "You didn't have to." I smiled at him._

"_Well, I—"_

_I reached up and ruffled his hair. "I like it better messy anyway."_

_He looked down, an embarrassed smile lighting up his face. "I'll keep that in mind…"_

_His cheeks had turned a light shade of pink, and I laid my hand against his shoulder, adoring the fact that he was trying so hard. I hadn't even left yet, and I already couldn't wait to return to him._

_I dropped my suitcase and pulled him into a hug, willing this moment to last forever. My hands rested delicately against his back, and he wrapped his arms gently around my waist and buried his face in my shoulder, holding me as if I were made of glass. "I'll see you soon, okay?" I told him._

"_Don't miss me too much," came his reply, muffled by the fabric of my shirt._

"_I already do."_

_We released each other and he grabbed my hands softly in his, our eyes meeting. My heart swelled and my stomach filled with butterflies. The warmth in his gaze consumed me and I soon found myself lost in those glittering emerald orbs just as I had so many times before. I didn't want to look away, because as soon as I turned my back, the fact that I won't be able to see him again for a while will really start to set in. When I looked into his eyes, I felt our hearts collide and meld into one. Time seemed to halt, and suddenly nothing else mattered, I couldn't think about the sorrow of leaving; I found myself able to think of nothing but the joy I would feel upon my return. For in those eyes, I saw my future._

"_Y-you're gonna be late," Ezreal disrupted my thoughts, causing me to jump._

_I smiled, only just now noticing how red his face has turned. "I can make them wait a few minutes. They wouldn't leave without me."_

"_Are you sure?" he asked._

"_My brother is with them to escort me. He wouldn't let them leave. Oh! You should meet him!"_

_Ezreal's eyes widened. "Your brother?"_

"_Yes!"_

"_Big brother Garen?" he asked, seeming to grow more and more nervous._

"_Mhmm!"_

_He looked down timidly. "Er… is that really a good idea? Does he know about me?"_

_I nodded fervently, excited at the thought of him meeting a part of my family. "At least, I think so. I sent a letter back home a couple weeks ago and talked about you. I think my parents would have shown him, or at least told him."_

"_He won't, like… sever my tongue for talking to you?"_

_I giggled. "No, of course not! Just don't look suspicious. Also, stay at arms' length when he's watching. Don't look at me either. Or think about me. He'll know somehow."_

"_Oh, that's all…"_

_I poked his chest, causing him to jump and look back up at me. "I'm kidding. I've probably made him sound worse than he actually is. He's just protective. He's really a nice guy. I think you guys could be good friends!" I smiled happily at the thought._

_Ezreal scratched the back of his head and returned my smile._

"_So come on!" I said excitedly, lunging towards him and grabbing his wrist._

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

That vivid image faded to black, and it took me only a few split seconds to recover and realize what had happened. In the midst of my vision, I had jumped forward and firmly grasped Ezreal's forearm before he had time to leave. He had turned to look at me, nothing but pain and surprise evident in his eyes. I wondered how long we had been like this, and why I couldn't get myself to let go right away. I couldn't look away from him. I couldn't move. My heart was racing and the blood was rushing to my face, but I was frozen.

_Why do I want him to stay so badly?_

His expression told me that he was waiting for some sort of explanation, but I didn't know what to say either.

A moment later, I came to my senses and released him, looking to the side and refusing to make eye contact. "I'm sorry…"

That was the only thing I could think to say. I was embarrassed. I didn't know what had happened. Had I said something to him as well?

Ezreal's eyes remained on me, as if he was hoping I would continue to speak, but I'd already said all that I needed to. However, I still felt it wasn't enough.

He closed his eyes and turned back towards the door. "I'll… go get you a bag to pack your things…" he told me, still facing away from me.

I sighed. When he said that, it hardly even came as a shock to me anymore. I was starting to believe what was happening – actually, I did believe it. I live here. At least, I did. Tomorrow, I will be leaving.

"Okay…" I responded, my voice hardly above a whisper.

Ezreal paused, then headed out the door, closing it behind him.

I was slowly beginning to understand.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed c:

Thank you for reading~ *gives cake*


	4. Acceptance and Repentance

Sorry it's been such a long time! I have an even longer chapter for you guys though :3

Also in one of the first reviews on this story someone told me not to mention Kat x Garen so I had to throw in a little hint at it because i'm a butt like that.

Anyway I hope you enjoy~

* * *

**Chapter Four: Acceptance and Repentance**

Ezreal

I can't remember the last time I felt this lonely.

Our cottage, usually bright and cheerful and filled with the vivacious atmosphere that seemed to follow Lux wherever she went, had fallen silent. Her laughter could not be heard. She wasn't sitting in the corner of the living room on her favorite faded maroon armchair reading a book – something she loved to do. She wasn't curled up in bed sleeping the day away just because she was too lazy to get up this morning. She wasn't hunched over a cookbook trying to make something and getting frustrated when it didn't turn out quite right. She was just gone. Her visits back home have never had this much of an effect on me before, as I'm usually with her, but there was an unmistakable sense of finality this time. She had left with no intention of ever returning.

Only a couple days ago, she and I were huddled together in front of the fire to block out the winter's cold, talking and playing games. Little had I known, that had been the last chance I would ever have to spend that kind of time with her; the next morning, my world fell down around me. And what hurt even worse, is the fact that I could have stopped it. I failed to protect the one thing in my life that I held the most sacred.

I looked over to the empty living room, a deck of cards still scattered on the floor in front of the fireplace just as we had left them. After what had happened, I couldn't get myself to pick them up; it was like a reminder of the life I no longer had. I found myself pacing the floors, and ended up in our room, where she had been merely hours ago. The photo of us laid face-down on my desk. My goggles had been picked up and were placed neatly back on the side table. She still made sure to clean up after herself before she departed. I allowed myself a small smile; that part about her still hasn't changed. Sometimes I forget that she's still the same inside. All she's missing are our memories.

My eyes moved to the window, then fell to the wooden bench we had outside, underneath a tree that grew the most beautiful blossoms every year. That had always been her favorite tree. Whenever she was upset or needed time to think, that was where I could find her, without fail. A couple times already since she'd left, I found myself drawn towards that spot, as if I would find her there. But each time, no matter how much I hoped, it was empty.

I moved towards my desk, my gaze fixed on the photo. I reached out towards it, deciding whether or not to pick it up; if I saw it, it might only make me feel worse now that she's gone. But before I could stop them, the memories came flooding back into my mind, and it was everything I could do to avoid breaking down. I could hear her words echoing in my head; the resonance of her sweet voice reverberating through my skull like a haunting melody. This all felt like a dream, and if it was, I desperately wanted to awaken. After spending three happy years with her, everything came to an end in the span of a few hours; it seemed unreal. Even though I hoped, everything in me knew that this was reality. I would never wake up from this nightmare.

I pulled my hand away from the photo, sparing it one last glance before walking over to our – _my_ – bed and sitting down, my eyes traveling languidly around the room. I was lost. I didn't know what to do. Up until now, she's been here and we've always kept each other company. I've forgotten what it felt like to be on my own. I'd been with Lux for only three years out of my almost nineteen years on earth, and I can't seem to recall what life without her was like. I had gotten by just fine before I'd met her, but now that I knew how wonderful life with her could be, I can't _imagine_ going back to the way things were.

I laid back, folding my hands over my stomach and looking up at the ceiling. I started to wonder what her parents and her brother and her friends back home would say when they saw her; news of the incident and Lux's injury wouldn't reach them until tomorrow at least. She would be home before then. Everybody would be worried sick for her. And I knew she would soon find out a little about what happened to her; there was no doubt that her parents would show her the letter I had sent. I wanted so badly to tell her myself, but hearing something like that from someone who she believed was a stranger would scare her. It would be better if she learned from her own family – people she knows.

Would her family be angry at me for failing to protect her? Would they turn their backs on me too?

I was angry at _myself_ for what had happened. I would hold it against myself for the rest of my life. The day I failed her. If it turned everyone else away from me, it would kill me, but maybe I would deserve it. I knew I shouldn't put all of the blame on myself, but I couldn't help it. We should have just stayed inside that day.

I rolled onto my side and pulled my knees in close to my chest, swallowing the lump in my throat as I truly began to realize just how powerless I was. I can't make Lux remember. I can't make her stay. I can't make her return my feelings again. I can't keep her safe.

I tried to push all of my negative thoughts to the back of my mind for now. If this is the way things are going to be from now on, I needed to be stronger. I needed to stop thinking of myself, and think more of her. As much as I wanted her to be here with me, I knew deep down that she would be much safer back home. I want her to feel comfortable while she's recovering. I want her to be surrounded by family and friends that she knows. I don't want her to worry; I want her to be happy. And if being with me doesn't make her happy anymore, then that's not what I want for her. I just need to be thankful that she's alive.

I still couldn't help but wonder if I would ever see her again.

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

Lux

I made my way up the large staircase to the front doors of my home, unable to suppress a smile as I took in the familiar surroundings. The mottled granite underfoot reflected hues of red and yellow from the setting sun – the same light glistened off the surfaces of the marble statues lining the walkway. A gentle breeze shook the remaining leaves off the trees around me, sending them fluttering to the ground like graceful little butterflies. The warm glow of the sunset almost made me forget just how cold it was, and suddenly I could find myself thinking of nothing but huddling in front of a warm fire.

I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered, still unable to stop smiling at the beauty of my surroundings and the happiness I felt upon returning to my home.

When I reached the top of the steps, the guard at the door acknowledged me with a quick bow of his head. "Miss Crownguard," he greeted me.

I smiled and nodded towards him politely. I had always told him that he didn't need to treat me so formally, as I considered everyone helping out in our household to be my family. But he insisted on it anyway.

"You can just call me by my first name, you know," I reminded him, giving him a pointed look and a teasing smile.

He looked away quickly, trying to remain professional. "Yes, Milady Luxanna."

I rolled my eyes, and just as I reached the front doors, the guard reached out and pulled one open for me. I stepped through, offering him a gracious smile and a 'thank you.'

My gratitude was met with a nod, and the door closed behind me, echoing through the vast foyer.

My eyes travelled around the room, and I found more comfort in the fact that everything was just the same as I remembered it. A large crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling on a golden chain in the center of the room, only dimly lighting the foyer. To brighten the room, there were two intricate lamps with deep red shades that corresponded with the immaculate crimson carpet positioned in opposite corners. Two large staircases resided on either side of the room against the wall. Along both of them, there were rows of family portraits and photos concealed within identical golden frames.

Sitting on a polished white table between the staircases was the potted plant I had bought for my mother on her birthday when I was thirteen, I think. I was surprised that it was still alive, but it brought back pleasant memories. It was the first thing I had ever bought for anyone with money I had earned myself. Up until then, when I'd wanted to buy a gift for my parents, they would give me money and I would use that, but then I decided it wasn't truly a gift from the heart unless it was from me alone. I made bouquets of wild flowers and sold them to passers-by until I had enough money to buy that plant, because it had always been my mother's favorite kind. I had been very proud of myself for it, too.

"Lux?" A voice interrupted me from my thoughts, but I smiled, immediately recognizing the voice. I turned towards it.

"Big brother!" Unable to stop myself, I ran forward and threw my arms around him, unable to remember ever being this glad to see him. Just seeing family was a huge relief after what I'd been through.

He squeezed me once and released me, dropping me back onto my feet and looking at me excitedly. "It's been a while since your last visit. Is Ezreal not with you?"

I froze. For just a moment, I was able to forget about him and all my problems. This also confirmed all of my suspicions – at the very least, Ezreal and I were good friends, if not more. He'd met my family…

Maybe Garen would be able to tell me more about him. But how would I bring that up without telling him about what's going on? A small wave of panic washed through me, and I was relieved when I realized I had left my jacket on – if I hadn't, he would definitely notice the bandages…

I didn't want to worry him.

He noticed my uneasiness, and tipped his head slightly. "Are you guys okay? Or… is that why you came here?"

I forced a smile and shook my head. "N-nothing's wrong. I just wanted to surprise everyone! And he's been busy anyway," I told him, trying to sound as convincing as possible. But my brother knows me far too well, he'll know something's up no matter what I say.

He didn't look very convinced, but he let it go and smiled anyway. "Oh, then that's great. It's just that you usually tell us ahead of time. I'm happy you're here though! Our parents will be back soon, and dinner should be ready by then."

"Ah, that's great! I'm starving."

"Well, let's go catch up while we're waiting for them. You look cold. Do you want tea? Hot chocolate?"

I smiled. Big brother was being his usual attentive self, always wanting to make everyone happy. Many people who didn't know him thought he was intimidating, and he could be, but around family, he's always like this.

"Thank you, but I can do it myself," I gave him a teasing look and strolled past him towards the kitchen. He muttered a quick 'alright, alright' before following me.

"You want some too?" I asked him.

"Tea, please."

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

The image of my tall, heavily muscled, virile older brother hunched over fine china sipping tea would always be funny to me. I couldn't help but laugh, so I bit my lip in order to hold it back.

"What's so funny?" Garen asked, sounding defensive.

I really hadn't been as subtle as I thought, so I gave up trying to hide it and smiled, lifting the cup to my lips. "Nothing, nothing…"

He glared at me, trying to suppress a smile. "No, you're laughing at me."

"You look funny drinking out of such a small cup."

"Lux, this is the set that you bought for me last year!"

Oh, I didn't know that.

I just stuck my tongue out at him and took another sip of my tea, trying to think of something to talk about. Actually, I had so many things I wanted to ask him. Most of all, I wanted to ask him all about me and Ezreal, but I couldn't let him know that something had happened to me. I need to be careful about what I say, but it's hard when the brother I know is the one from three years ago. If I said anything odd, he would notice for sure. And I wanted to keep our conversation lighthearted.

Is he still with the girl he was seeing three years ago?

A quick glance at a recent photo on our wall gave me my answer, so I decided to bring it up, hoping it wasn't the wrong decision.

"So," I said, setting my cup on the table and folding my hands, leaning towards him with a teasing look on my face. "How are you and Kat?"

He coughed, nearly dropping his cup, then looked at me. "W-we're great! Uh… why?"

_Thank goodness._

I chuckled, suddenly remembering just how flustered he got whenever I brought her up before. I wanted to know everything. Not only about myself, but I'd lost the past three years with my family as well. There was no way of talking about it without saying outright 'I can't remember the past three years of my life, fill me in' and that would bring up an entire list of concerns with everyone. I just wanted to stay with my family and not have to worry or make them worry. I wanted things to go back to the way they were three years ago.

"No reason. You two seem awfully happy in that photo," I said, motioning to it. "When was that taken?"

He gave me a confused look, and I immediately realized my mistake. _Maybe I'm supposed to know that…_

"You took that photo, Lux. It was this summer. You and Ezreal came on a trip with us. Did you forget about that?"

"I… n-no, it just slipped my mind for a second," I stammered, embarrassed. I lifted the cup to my mouth and looked away, trying to distract him from the blush rising to my cheeks. I was getting nervous. I needed to calm myself down.

I had gone on a trip with my brother and Kat? And Ezreal had been with us? Just how close had we been?

My heart quickened, and I felt myself starting to panic. He had met my family, even gone on a trip with us… and as far as I knew, we had lived together. What we had was more than just any friendship…

"Are… are you okay?" Garen asked me, furrowing his brow and leaning forward, a look of concern spread across his face.

I nodded, forcing a smile. "I'm fine. Just a bit tired." It was only partially the truth. I _was_ tired, I hadn't been able to sleep well the previous night, but that wasn't why I was acting up. I was confused, and scared.

I'm here, at home, with my family, but I still feel lost. I feel like I hardly know anyone. They all remember me as if nothing had happened… but the brother I know, the parents I know, and the friends I know, are the ones from three years ago. I can't remember what's happened, or what they've gone through, or the things we've shared and done since then. I feel like I'm in a completely different world than everyone I love.

And it's one of the most terrifying things I've ever felt.

"You look a little pale," he pointed out. "Are you sure that's all?"

"Y-yeah. I couldn't sleep last night…" I told him, trying to maintain a steady voice. My head was spinning, and I fought to keep my breathing quiet and steady.

I set my tea down and tried to hold myself upright by leaning back against the chair and grasping the sides firmly, all the while trying to appear composed. I was starting to feel dizzy, and at the same time I had to fight back tears.

What was happening to me?

I'm home. I should have nothing to worry about… and yet…

"You really don't look good. Did something happen?"

"I'm okay…"

"Lux, you're worrying me…" he said, looking like he was about ready to jump out of his chair if anything happened.

"You don't have to worry about me." I gave him a weak smile.

"You look like you're going to pass out. I'm sorry, but I'm taking you to your room. You need to lie down for a while and rest. You're exhausted," he said, standing up and holding his hand out to me. "I'll bring dinner to you when it's ready."

I wanted to stay and talk to him, but I couldn't risk anything happening. Once I had slept, I would feel better. That's all I needed.

I took his hand and pulled myself up off the chair as the room started spinning around me. I stumbled.

_What's come over me all of a sudden?_

Garen placed his hand against my back and lead me towards the foyer and upstairs to my room. He was talking on the way there, but I could barely hear him. I was almost in a daze.

I hardly even looked around before curling up on my mattress. My brother turned on the light next to my bed and asked me if I needed anything else. All I could do was shake my head and mutter a 'thank you.' With one last look, he dimmed the light and left the room, leaving the door open just a crack.

Immediately, I felt myself drifting off. I pushed aside all of my troubling thoughts to welcome sleep – the only state in which I could allow myself to free my mind. Even if it was only for a short while, I wanted to forget. I wanted to pretend everything was normal, and that the past couple days had just been a bad dream.

But the stinging in my left shoulder brought me back to this reality I couldn't escape.

Before I knew it, the world around me ceased to exist and I gradually slipped into unconsciousness, surrendering myself to the realm of dreams.

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

"_Do you really have to go tomorrow?" I heard his voice behind me. His tone was sad, but at the same time it sounded hopeful. Serenity filled me to my very core as the gentle sound floated through the air and wrapped itself around me like a warm blanket. No one else has ever spoken to me with such tenderness. I could feel the emotions in his voice just as easily as I could feel his touch upon my cheek, and it was something wonderful that no one else could make me experience._

_I turned around and saw him walking towards me with a sorrowful look spread across his face. He had his hands folded over his stomach as he mindlessly twiddled his thumbs, though his eyes were trained on me._

_Trying to cheer him up, I smiled at him and scooted over to the far left of the bench, leaving him enough room to sit beside me. He returned my smile and took a seat on the other side of the bench, looking down and letting his hair mask his features, leaving a foot or two of space in between us. He's funny that way – he still gets embarrassed around me, or doesn't want to make me uncomfortable by getting too close, even though we've known each other for months now. Sometimes he's a little too thoughtful._

"_I'm sorry," I told him, my smile diminishing. "I have been gone for a while, and my family misses me."_

_The truth was that I really didn't want to leave. I enjoyed being here with him, and the few weeks that I'd been here this visit had gone by so much faster than I'd hoped. I knew I wouldn't be able to come back for a while, but I didn't want to come out and say that. It would only upset him more._

"_I'll come back as soon as I can," I told him, forcing myself to smile again._

"_We'll keep in touch?" he asked, glancing up at me._

_I nodded, and his expression brightened ever-so-slightly._

_He kept his gaze on mine for a few moments, then reached out almost hesitantly, as if waiting for me to stop him, and laid his hand over mine as it rested against the wooden bench._

_I felt my heart jump, and my cheeks grew hot. This time, I didn't try to hide it as I usually would have. His hand was warm to the touch, and though his skin was rougher than my own, it was one of the many things I found so endearing about him._

"_I've had fun," he said suddenly. "I like having you here…"_

"_I wish I could stay longer," I told him dejectedly. "I'll plan on that next time."_

_We sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's presence and absorbing this moment, for it could be the last time we spend together like this for months. I wanted to remember every second of it. The sun was beginning to set, and I was saddened to realize that I couldn't stay here much longer._

_I glanced to the boy at my side and could feel nothing but adoration in my heart. I took his hand in mine gently, and he looked at me suddenly as if he were startled, but his eyes told me otherwise. He was happy._

_I couldn't find the words to tell him how I felt, and I wished I could let him know with just a glance, but that wasn't always enough. I tugged on his hand lightly._

"_You're too far away." My voice was hardly above a whisper._

_He only paused for a moment before shifting closer to me, wordlessly intertwining our fingers and staring nervously at the ground. I leaned against his shoulder, happy to find my head fit perfectly against the base of his neck, as if it belonged there. I could feel his heart beating rapidly against my cheek, and found joy in the fact that I could make him feel the same way I did. The pounding in his chest soon fell into sync with my own and I let the peaceful sound of his heart soothe my muddled thoughts. I never wanted this moment to end, but the daylight was slipping away. I had to leave soon._

_We both looked up and watched as the sun began to sink behind the trees, silhouetting them against the brilliant golden light and pastel-colored clouds. The scene was almost too perfect to be real. It was as if someone had taken a paintbrush to the sky in delicate shades of pink and orange and carefully blended them over the clouds. The sunset had never been so beautiful, but that could have been because he was at my side._

_I turned and lifted my chin to place a soft kiss on his cheek, reveling in the warmth of his smooth skin against my lips, however brief. He turned towards me and flinched when our noses brushed, startled. I couldn't help but smile at him, which he reciprocated._

_His smile lit up his eyes, and I found myself entranced by them once again. They bore great happiness laced with admiration. I was filled with an ineffable sense of entirety knowing I was the only one he would ever look at with such reverence. Though his eyes appeared kind and gentle, I saw through them to the flame of desire burning within the untold depths of his gaze. That was something only I would ever see._

_I hadn't noticed him moving his face closer to mine, his hand gliding delicately up my neck to rest against my cheek. I felt hot underneath his touch, my skin tingling wherever his fingers traced it. His nose brushed against mine, and for a moment, he stayed just like that, caressing my cheek lightly with his thumb._

_My face was burning and I couldn't get myself to move away, nor did I want to. Our hands were still locked, and I squeezed his gently, my other hand finding his shoulder. I pulled him closer still, feeling the heat radiating off of his body and his warm breath gliding across my skin._

_Recognizing my compliance, he closed the distance between us pressed his lips against mine. They were soft and warm and suddenly I found myself unable to form a coherent thought. All of my other senses left me until all I could feel was _him_._

_I had never felt more complete than in that moment._

._-:*~*~*~*:-_.

I opened my eyes slowly, and for just an instant, I was surprised to find that Ezreal was no longer in front of me. It took me a few seconds to realize that it had only been a dream – or a memory, and now I was back in reality.

This time, I wasn't scared like I usually would have been, and I didn't know why. I was almost in a state of bliss. I felt calm. But what was most alarming was that I hadn't _wanted_ to wake up. Was my mind beginning to accept him?

I sat up, then shook my head and glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, noticing I had only been asleep for a little over twenty minutes. Whatever had happened to me earlier, it was over. Had I only been panicking?

Just as I was about to get up and go find my brother, a pang of sorrow moved through me and I found myself unable to. I couldn't pinpoint why I was feeling this way. I guess I was just confused. I should be afraid of Ezreal. I should be glad to be home and away from him. But I found myself starting to miss him…

He had never given me a reason to. So why do I?

Was I having a change of heart?

* * *

Sorry if this chapter wasn't incredibly interesting, I swear the next one will be c:

Thank you for reading, lovelies~ *gives chocolate*


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